Why "Experts" Are Keeping You Small

The Addiction to "Certainty"

We live in an era of "Experts." Open Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn, and you will be bombarded by people telling you exactly how to live. “Eat this, not that.” “Wake up at 5 AM or you’re a failure.” “Invest in crypto.” “Heal your attachment style in 3 easy steps.”

We are addicted to these voices. We crave them. Why? Because we are terrified of our own confusion. We are terrified of the silence that happens when we put the phone down. We have been conditioned since childhood to believe that the answers to our lives exist outside of us—in a textbook, in a teacher’s approval, in a boss’s performance review, or in a guru’s seminar.

We have outsourced our sovereignty to systems that profit from our self-doubt. But here is my manifesto: I believe that each of us holds within our bodies, minds, and souls all the knowledge we need to live authentically.

The modern world wants you to be a customer. A sovereign woman is not a customer; she is a creator. And creators don't follow recipes - they write them.

The "Good Student" Trap

I spent the first thirty-five years of my life being a "Model Human." I was the daughter of immigrants, so the pressure to excel was tectonic. I got the Finance degree. I climbed the corporate ladder. I was a model student, a model employee, and a model citizen. . I thought that if I just followed the rules well enough, I would eventually arrive at "Happiness."

But following the rules is just a fancy way of silencing your internal voice. We are trained early on to ignore the wisdom of our bodies. When we are tired, we drink coffee and push through. When we are sad, we scroll to numb out. When our gut screams "NO" to a job or a partner, we use our mind to rationalize a "Yes" because it looks good on paper.

We build our lives on what I call the "Not Self." In Human Design, the "Not Self" is who you become when you ignore your energetic blueprint to please the tribe.. It is the mask you wear to survive. And the terrifying truth is that you can be incredibly "successful" as your Not Self. You can make millions, win awards, and have a picture-perfect family, all while your soul is slowly dying of malnutrition.

The Midlife Revolution (Not A Crisis)

Then comes the crash. Society calls it a "Midlife Crisis." I call it a Midlife Revolution..

It usually happens in your late thirties or forties. Astrologically, this aligns with the "Uranus Opposition" or the aftershocks of the "Saturn Return." . Suddenly, the things that used to motivate you—money, status, validation—feel empty. You look around at the life you built and wonder, "Is this it?"

This isn't a crisis. This is your soul waking up. This is the moment the "Egg" cracks. We are not meant to stay the same forever. Our twenties are for experimentation. Our thirties are for integration. And our forties? That is our Crone Phase.. The Crone isn't an old hag; she is the Wise Woman. She is the one who stops apologizing for her magic. She is the one who stops asking for permission.

I love my forties more than my twenty-five-year-old self could have ever imagined.. Why? Because I finally fired the "Committee of Experts" living in my head and hired myself as the CEO.

Triangulated Wisdom: How to Develop our Discernment

So, does "Sovereignty" mean we ignore everyone and live in a cave? No. That’s arrogance, not wisdom.

I am a voracious reader. I have devoured philosophy, history, astrology, and metaphysics. I am a "practical maximalist" when it comes to knowledge. But I use a specific method I call Triangulated Wisdom..

Triangulated Wisdom is the practice of gathering knowledge from diverse sources while never abandoning the compass of your own inner truth. I don’t read a book to find "The Answer." I read it to find data points. I take a piece of wisdom from Stoicism. I take a piece from Human Design. I take a piece from my grandmother’s stories. And then—this is the crucial step—I run it all through my own Body Compass.

Does this expand me? Or does it contract me?. Does it resonate with my cells? My mind is my research assistant, but my Body is the decision-maker.

Finding Your Blueprint (Human Design)

For years, I was looking for the "Instruction Manual" for being Alice. I took every personality test. Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, you name it. But it wasn't until I found Human Design that the lights turned on..

Human Design is a synthesis of astrology, the I Ching, Kabbalah, and the chakra system. It gives you an energetic blueprint of how you are designed to move through the world.. When I saw my chart, I felt incredibly seen. It explained why I was "too intense" for some people (I’m a Manifestor type energy). It explained why my intuition works through my gut (Sacral authority).

It validated what I had always known but was too scared to admit: I was never designed to fit into the box. And neither were you. You were not designed to be a carbon copy of your parents or your boss. You have a unique frequency, a unique purpose, and a unique way of making decisions.

Become Your Own Indiana Jones

It is time to become the archaeologist of your own soul.. Stop looking for a savior. Stop looking for a Guru to tell you who you are. Be your own Indiana Jones. Go into the ruins of your childhood, the caves of your shadow, and the library of your DNA.

You have the right to curate your own wisdom. You have the right to question "truths" that were handed to you. You have the right to change your mind.

Confidence doesn't come from being right all the time. Confidence comes from knowing that "If you can, so can I.". We are 99.9% genetically identical. If someone else can heal, so can you. If someone else can be free, so can you.

📓 JOURNALING PROMPTS FOR THIS CHAPTER

Grab your journal. Let’s audit your beliefs.

1. The Belief Audit: What beliefs or "truths" have you accepted without question—and are they truly yours? (e.g., "Success means working hard," "I’m not creative," "Money is evil")..

2. The "Shoulds" Inventory: Make a list of all the things you feel you should do this week. Now ask: Whose voice is really speaking? Is it yours, or is it a parent, a boss, or society?.

3. The Fear Check: What role does fear play in your decisions? List the fears that have shaped your choices (big or small) and choose one you are ready to challenge..

🛠 PRACTICAL TOOL: The Body Compass (Discernment)

Use this whenever you are consuming advice, reading a book, or listening to an "expert."

The Concept: Discernment isn't intellectual; it is somatic (of the body). Your nervous system knows the truth before your mind does.

The Practice:

1. The Input: When you hear a piece of advice (e.g., "You should wake up at 5 AM"), pause. Do not analyze it yet.

2. The Check-In: Close your eyes. Drop your awareness from your head into your chest or gut.

3. The Sensation: Ask yourself: Does this idea make me feel EXPANDED or CONTRACTED?

   • Expansion: Feels like opening, lightness, warmth, leaning forward, a deep breath. (This is a "Yes" for you).

   • Contraction: Feels like tightness, heaviness, shrinking, leaning back, holding breath. (This is a "No" for you).

4. The Sovereign Choice: Trust the sensation. Even if the expert is "right" for others, if your body contracts, they are wrong for you.